That’s Exactly how I felt when I looked at the scale this morning.. I Failed!!
In November, I had gotten down to a lovely 120lbs wearing a beautiful size 6. Just in time for my husband to see me after he got back from a 6-month deployment. He came home and was in awe of me. It could have been that he hadn’t actually seen me in 6 months (oh and did I mention I had cut ALL of my hair off?? In the natural hair world, we call that a BC..Big Chop) and/or it could have been that I was A lot smaller..exactly 22lbs smaller to be exact. I was happy to show my new figure off to him just as happy as he was to see it.
Ok, ENOUGH is ENOUGH!! I Failed before and I have been through all this in the past. Jan 2010 I weighed in at 156lbs/size 14 and in less than 3 months later, got down to 122lbs.. Awesome right?? Yes, it was but what was even nicer is I managed to keep it off for a WHOLE YEAR!!. My struggle with weight has been NO secret. After having my first child, I had lost some, gained some, lost a lot, then right back to being FAT. Back then, I was working out 2 hrs in the morning and 2 hrs in the evening just to get down to a measly 156 lbs, wearing a snug size 14.. Sigh!!
April 2011 began somewhat of a different journey for me. I knew without a doubt I could lose the weight again. Um hello, I’ve done it before and I Failed ; But what would make it different this time? Like I told you previously, In June 2011 I cut all my hair off. It was SOOOO liberating for me. Not only was it liberating but I had gained a new found Confidence, a Confidence I never knew I had. I was even happier , but wasn’t I always happy?? Yes, I have a supportive loving husband and 3 beautiful funny boys why oh why wouldn’t I be happy? My thought of beauty had changed and it made me look deep inside myself and ask ” Why Erika do you keep having this power struggle with your weight?”
What I felt after asking that question burned me to the core. I had some issues that was lingering. Issues I chose to keep inside instead of dealing with head on. I never really allowed myself to sit and think about my childhood pain and early adulthood problems because what’s the use. Right? Wrong!!!! Once I asked myself key questions (we will get into that in a later blog), I was able to overcome my weight obstacle.. Man it felt good!! and this time the process was so easy.
Now let us fast-forward to Nov 2011. My husband comes back from deployment, I was excited to show him all my hard work and he even commented on how I looked different. Not just weight wise and my hair but my whole persona just looked…DIFFERENT. Oh how happy I was that my Evolution not only showed Physically but Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.
Ok, you are probably thinking, “Yes Erika you went through this BIG change, why are you back to being FAT?” Well, you guys its called CONTENTMENT and LAZINESS..
Yes, Once again I Failed!!!
My husband was back, I chose not to continue the work on my mind-set ( we’re human and our Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Being needs daily work just as much as our Physical). I Chose to be Lazy and Content and my Physical body, Well.. it followed suit. The good news guys, Even though I Failed, I can STILL SUCCEED!! It’s all about recognizing the failure and NOT MAKING EXCUSES!!! Our Mind-Set is so Powerful. It can work against you or work for you and requires just as much “workout and nourishment” as your physical body does. Work on yourself as a WHOLE and you’ll be surprised how fast you’ll see results.. Trust me, I will be doing the same. This time, I WILL NOT FAIL!!! .
Live Light and Free!!